Focus-Unfocus

ECLIPSE Pashmina by SUCH! (New arrival)

Posing with Aztec

AZTEC Pashmina by SUCH! (New arrival)

This photoshoot need to be postponed for 2 times due to Kenza's cry for ASI.. hehehe..

190912 - Another Best Day of My Life

Assalamualaikum Beautiful,

Huooooowww.. this is epic! since this is the first post after gave birth to a very handsome son.. yes, son.. I have son now.. I'm officially "ibu ibu" now.. yeaaayy.. Yaa, this post is all about my son and laboring process that I had. Bahasanya mix mix lah ya.. hehehe

Ya, seperti yang udah aku ceritakan di 2 post sebelumnya, I should have c-section for my first labor. Dan akhirnya aku dan suami pun memutuskan tanggal 19 September sebagai tanggal untuk aku melahirkan putra pertama kami. Kenapa tanggal 19? Kata Papapnya, 19 angka bagus.. pemain bola yg nomer punggung 19 jago-jago (yeah right..) ahahaha.. Tapi basically karena tanggal 19 itu besoknya libur pilkada, jadi ya lebih leluasa aja untuk keluargaku kalo mau nemenin di RS. Gitu deh pokonya.. hehe

180912
Aku masuk RS tanggal 18 sorenya, alhamdulillah langsung dapet kamar karena sebelumnya memang udah booking sih (macam hotel aja ya).. Sesampainya di RS, langsung deh dilakukan beberapa observasi pra operasi sesar. Diantaranya rekam jantung bayi (CTG), jantung ibu, cek lab, tekanan darah, cukur (hah cukur?? iya cukurr.. no need further explanation over this). Alhamdulillah semuanya normal, bahkan suster sempet cek ASI ku apakah sudah keluar atau belum.. dan ternyataa.. alhamdulillah udaahh.. haduuhh subhanallah ngerasa tenang dan percaya diri pd saat itu.. awalnya ASI lah yg agak aku khawatirkan, takut pas abis melahirkan gk bisa langsung nyusuin anakku.. tp setelah suster cek dan ternyata ada, huaaahh.. alhamdulillah.. seneng luar biasa..

Operasi masih akan dilakukan keesokan paginya, jam 9 pagi tepatnya.. karena itu aku disuruh puasa mulai dari jam 12 malem sampai waktunya operasi.. Entah kenapa selama penantian operasi itu aku ngerasa super tenang, relax and very excited to see my son for the first time! wow.. I start imagined how his face will be.. will he be like me, or my husband.. aaaaa.. super duper excited until it was kinda hard to sleep.. hehe

190912
Yeay! today is D day.. I will meet my son for the first time.. sooooo excited.. aku udah mandi dan sholat subuh.. udah wangiii.. siap-siap mau ketemu anakku.. waktu sebelum operasi aku sempet nanya ke dokter, "Dok, nanti pas operasi aku boleh pake softlense dan eyeliner gak?" (maksudnya biar rada kece gitu pas difoto pertama kali ama anak dan gak burem pas liat muka anak).. ehh kata dokter gak boleh.. mending pake kacamata aja sekalian, and no make up..hmm yasudahlah aku terima kenyataan ini.. heuhehehe..

Operasi yang awalnya dijadwalkan jam 08.00, ternyata harus diundur sampai jam 09.00 karena dokternya ada tindakan yg lbh urgent. Okay, aku yg udah agak senewen ini bolak balik liat jam.. nunggu suster-suster masuk untuk bawa aku ke ruang operasi. Jam menunjukkan pukul 08.30, dan yupp! rombongan suster pun dateng ke kamarku untuk bawa aku ke ruang operasi. Para suster itu pun bareng-bareng dorong tempat tidurku dan mereka tampaknya sangat keberatan. Emang gw segede ape seeehhhh.. ya emang gede sihh.. tapi masa ampe segitu susahnya.. bzzzzttt.. well anyway, long story short.. tibalah aku di ruang operasi.. Jeng jeng jeeeeeng.. Dinginn, tempat tidurnya kecil beralaskan perlak warna coklat, banyak peralatan kedokteran.. harusnya gw deg degan kan ya.. tapi ngga loohhh.. masih bisa becanda ama suster..

Lalu dokter anestesi pun masuk (dokter bius) trus nyuruh aku duduk.. which was big effort yaah.. secara tempat tidur cilik bgt, badan udah berat, perut gede.. lagi tiduran disuruh bangun.. hadehh.. yasudah, akhirnya duduk dan dokter udah nyiapin suntikan segede gaban (tau gaban gak? aku jg ngga sih) trus beliau bilang klo aku akan disuntik dibagian tulang belakang, dan untuk itu aku harus duduk menunduk kaya udang.. Etttt si dokter, gak paham banget kayanya klo perutku udah guedee dan ngganjel.. but then again, manut waeee.. trus disuntikinlah itu suntikan jarum besar ke tulang belakangku.. Instantly langsung kerasa anget dari mulai pinggul kebawah, dan agak kerasa kesemutan and suddenly I can't feel my legs! ngeri abis.. Waktu itu aku dibius lokal, maksudnya yg dibius hanya bagian yg akan dioperasi saja.. sedangkan akunya tetap sadar.. biarpun sadar tapi agak ngefly juga sih..

Ada layar kecil didepanku yg menutupiku supaya gak bisa lihat whats goin on down there.. yang aku ingat, obgyn ku megang bahuku sambil bilang, "Suci, kita mulai ya operasinya.. berdoa terus ya.." okay, aku pun terus berdoa komat kamit meanwhile si dokter ngobrol aja gtu selagi obok-obok perutku.. sampai pada akhirnya dokter asisten yang ada dibelakang aku tiba-tiba ngedorong perutku..andddd "oeeekkkkk.." I heard the first cry of my baby.. and the doctor said, "Selamat yaa Bu, anaknya laki-laki.." I was so happy, tapi kesenengannya itu gk bisa terlalu gimana karena aku makin ngefly.. kayanya bius mulai bekerja.. aku ngantuk, mata kriyep kriyep.. sampai akhirnya suster membawa bayiku trus nyuruh aku nyium.. Subhanallah, baru deh berasa indah bgtt.. I saw him.. I saw him.. and then he was laid down on my chest for bonding time.. I felt him.. I felt him.. Alhamdulillah..

Setelah itu anakku dibawa ke Papapnya untuk di adzanin.. Papapnya bilang, suaranya bergetar waktu adzan, dan matanya berkaca kaca..

and here you go, my Son....

Kenza Annafi Budy

Kenza: Harta (Treasure)

Annafi: Pemberi Manfaat (The source of any benefit and goodness)

Budy: Papap's first name

Welcome to the world Kenza sayang.. 

Letters to You

Assalamualaikum....

Dear Son,

Its been like 38 weeks since you're here in Mam's belly for the first time.. Mam and Pap firstly acknowledge you with the size as a bean curd, almost a dot.. But you should know how happy Mam and Pap to hear the doctor said that, "You have fetus on your womb that will grow and become a baby.." You were the most beautiful bean curd-alike that time..

Carrying you for 9 months in Mam's belly is like a miracle and the most precious moment in Mam's life. Your first kick, to see you on USG screen, subhanallah.. Mam always try my best to keep you safe and sound. Maybe now, Mam's belly still the safest place for you to live.. Mam gives you supply of air and food.. And the warmth inside, probably the best temperature for your body.

Son, you know what? InsyaAllah tomorrow we will meet for the first time (gosh Mam is teary right now). Yes Son, are you ready to see Mam and Pap? You will meet 2 persons that has been always the closest to you for the last 9 months. Yes, we can hug! We can kiss.. Allahuakbar.. Mam and Pap already prepare everything to welcome you.. Out here, can be hot..can be cold.. Can be noisy, can be so quiet.. It might not as safe as Mam's belly.. But we promise you Son, we will always take care of you and keep you safe.. With the guidance from Allah SWT. Aamiin allahuma aamiin..

Dear Papap (my Husband),

Pap, makasih ya udah jadi suami SIAGA (Siap Antar Jaga) selama Mamam hamil. You have shown me what true love is, something that never been describe in any love story..

Your love is the sudden-late-nite-wake up due to my scream over a bad leg cramp..
Your love is your willingness to rub my back everytime I feel pain..
Your love is your patience during my insomnia and "rewelness"..
Your love is your spirit in encouraging me to eat healthy..
Your love is when you come home and bring me fruits, milk and vegetables..
Your love is every kiss and hug everytime I feel unattractive..
I love you Papap.. So much..

Our Son will come soon.. more or less in 12 hours.. InsyaAllah.. Our family will become bigger! Subhanallah.. Mudah-mudahan Allah memberikan kelancaran dan keselamatan untuk kita ya.. Aamiin allahuma aamiin..

When What we Want is not Accordance with Reality

Assalamualaikum Beautiful,

Quite long title for a post, right? Yes, I wanna tell you a story about when what we want is not accordance with reality. So, alhamdulillah my pregnancy has already reach 36 weeks now.. or 9 months! yes, aku lagi menghitung hari.. counting til the day is come.. when we meet our baby for the first time.. InsyaAllah..


As pregnant women in general, from the beginning of pregnancy we are haunted by some of the fears about the pregnancy thingy. Especially about the health of the fetus in the womb. Eat healthy and nutritious foods, do not eat carelessly, increase nutrition to the baby in the womb, and so forth. And of course, as a mother-to be, we want the best for our babies, right? That is just the problem of nutrition and health of the fetus. Not to mention the other issues that we often think about during pregnancy, childbirth.

Most pregnant women crave to give birth the natural way or normal. At least that's what I wanted from the beginning. For delivery by normal means, said a lot of people a lot of benefits. First, it quickly recovered. Secondly, could feel the struggle of a real motherhood. Third, but not least important, is much cheaper. Hehe. So I had been longing to have a normal delivery. Until the time I join pregnancy exercise for the first time when my pregnancy was more or less than 30 weeks. After the exercise, the instructor asked the participants, "anyone here suffer eye minus?" Then I raised my hand and said, "I was minus 4 and 5." Then the nurse informed something that I had never heard before, she told me that pregnant women who suffer  should consult to eye doctor with a referral from the obstetrician.The explanation, someone with minus eye may have a thin retina so it would be very risky when pushing in the normal birth process.

After hearing that, I decide to go to eye doctor A.S.A.P to have my eyes checked. Especially the retina. Of course I went to the doctor with my husband. First, I didn't really worried about what will the doctor say. Aku cenderung santai sambil terus dzikir didalam hati. Berusaha pasrah dan ikhlas dengan apapun keputusan dokter pada saat itu. Lalu masuklah aku ke ruang praktek dokter mata dan akan periksa retinaku, she's a retina expert (they said). Mulai deh ngerasain ketegangan itu, tapi tetep berusaha santai dan sok akrab ama dokter sambil menjelaskan kedatanganku kesana dan mau cek apa. Beliau pun langsung ngerti. After a little bit chit chat, she told me to sit on the hot seat, the examination seat. First she check my right eye, and I heard she was whispering, "bagus.. masih oke.." and then come with my left eye, and she continues whispering, "wah, banyak cracknya.. gak bisa spontan ini sih.." And my heart beat faster than before.. hah? crack? gak bisa spontan?? what are they supposed to mean??? Dan kami pun kembali duduk di meja konsultasi dokter sambil beliau menjelaskan pelan-pelan. She start to draw my eye condition while explaining, "jadi kondisi mata yang sehat itu seperti ini bu...." and she explains about healthy eye condition. Barulah setelah itu beliau menjelaskan tentang keadaan mataku, beliau bilang retina mata kananku masih bagus dan tidak terjadi penipisan. Tapi masalahnya ada pada retina mata kiriku.. sudah terjadi banyak penipisan atau crack di beberapa spot. Kondisi ini termasuk yang high risk untuk melahirkan secara spontan/ normal. Karena apabila mata yg retinanya tipis ini dipaksakan untuk mengejan ketika persalinan, kemungkinan terburuk bisa terjadi. Yaitu RETINA LEPAS atau ROBEK yang akan menyebabkan BUTA mendadak. Dan dokter pun berkata, "Jadi, saya highly recommend you to have c-section".

Aku cuma bisa diem, gak kuat ngomong apa-apa. Seperti adegan sinetron, suddenly my inner voice was so loud and other voices just like echoing and fade away. Dan tiba-tiba mata becek.. berusaha nahan tapi akhirnya gak tertahan juga dan nangislah aku diruang dokter. Knowing that I can't have normal delivery for my first child is trully devastating for me. All my dreams and thought of having those pain before delivery.. pushing.. all vanish just like that. Sedih bangetttt..

But theeenn, I realize.. Ini semua udah kehendak Allah.. dari mulai aku ikut senam hamil, kemudian instrukturnya nanya soal mata minus and I raised my hand.. Itu udah kehendak Allah..bisa aja kan aku hari itu gak senam, atau instrukturnya pas lg gak nanya, atau aku gak usah angkat tangan krn pada hari itu pun aku pake soft lense koq. Back again, ini kehendak Allah.. Allah yang mengatur semuanya.. Subhanallah.. Jadi sekarang udah harus ikhlas dan nerima kalo untuk anak pertama, insyaAllah aku harus menjalani operasi caesar. But it doesn't matter as long as my baby is healthy. I'm healthy. and my husband healthy. InsyaAllah aamiin.

Jadi sekarang lagi mau nentuin tanggal nih, kapan kira-kira mau melahirkannya. Hehehe.. Pray for us yaa.. Maaf kalo tulisannya panjang..

Mamam and Papap to be. Aamiin (36 weeks)

SUCH! Newest Collections

Assalamualaikum Beautiful,

Aku belum sempat nih update di blog tentang new collection dari SUCH! by Suci Utami, my label. Sebenernya new collection ini sudah di launching saat Ramadhan kemarin, but still limited since it was only available for the current event that time. But now, alhamdulillah its already available online and you can grab them fast!

To order, go to ORDER FORM at http://suchbysuchi.blogspot.com

HAPPY SHOPPING BEAUTIFUL! 

HIJABIST Book Can be Ordered HERE!

Assalamualaikum Beautiful,

Udah tau kan soal novel "HIJABIST: Confessions of Hijab Fashion Blogger" yang ditulis oleh aku, Siti Juwariyah dan Restu Anggraini.Alhamdulillah kita seneng banget untuk semua response yang kita terima dari twitter, baik yang udah beli dan baca.. atau yang masih kesulitan mencari novel kami ini. FYI, good newsss! Sekarang novel HIJABIST ini bisa dipesan di blog aku atau blog Siti Juwariyah. Tinggal klik button yang ada disebelah kiri atas blog aku, langsung ke direct ke order form yang bisa kamu isi. Another surprise to tell, cuma ada 100 buku + tanda tangan penulis lhooo.. Yeayyy! Harga bukunya Rp 48.000 (belum termasuk ongkos kirim), reseller are welcome dengan diskon khusus..

So what are you waiting for, click the button, fill in the order form, confirm your payment and walaaah! the book will arrive to your home ASAP! more info email to: novelhijabist@gmail.com.

Click this button on your left

For you who live in Jakarta and around, you may also find this novel at MUSE 101 FX Sudirman 3rd Floor, Jakarta at Mainland's counter. This novel also already available at GRAMEDIA (Jabodetabek) and TGA (Toko Gunung Agung) untuk seluruh Jakarta dan Luar Kota.